Monday, September 10, 2012

Is that a Snickers bar in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

I have had an amazing summer.  An amazing summer because I am still not working, so I stayed home.  Amazing because I am that annoying person who smiles perkily in kajillion degree weather and says things like Hot enough for ya?  I am also blessedly blessed to have a pool, so when things get a little heated with kids going bonkers in the house (haha, see what I did there?  Heated!  That was a total accident!) I can toss them into the water for a little distraction/diversion/exhaustion. 

What else comes with summer?  Hydration darlings.  Hydration and sun protection.  Yes, I am also that person who slathers on sunscreen, puts on the most dramatic sunhat I could find in the end of season clearance bin last summer, and I drink.  I stuck with H20 for the  most part during the day, but once hubby came home or a guest popped by, beer, wine, g&t's, coolers were a few of the libations issued to celebrate yet another beautiful sunny day, tralalala.  A normally cautious eater, little bits of this an that began making their way into my mouth.  People would bring chips to snack on by the pool, bbq's of hamburgers, sausages and steaks became the ordre du jour and well, what decent guest doesn't bring a dessert over? 

Needless to say the pounds crept on and I was very comfortable with my new lifestyle.  Oh, and when kids don't go to school during the day, it is very difficult to go for your daily run.  I never thought of my run as a big deal - usually 6-8K on one of our beautiful trails here in paradise.  However,  when you stop running and start carb loading, the old g-string becomes a bit of a stretched out t-string instead. 

So, this new lifestyle happened so gradually, and happily, that I didn't really realize what was happening to me until this weekend.  Jo and I are fortunate enough to have great friends in Chicago who we visit every year with another super fun couple.  And every year we go to a Bears game (that's a Football Team for my more, ummmm, fashion-ey friends).  The pre-game ritual is a good old-fashioned tailgating party where our hosts feed us Caesars and griddle food.  This year I enjoyed not one but two pancakes wrapped around sausage AND bacon, then doused with good old fashioned maple syrup.   It would be rude to eat only one really.  There was also a bowl of Snickers' mini-chocolate bars, which I treated as foreplay and afterplay to my multiple pancake indiscretions.  Tummies full and happy, we marched off to the line up to be frisked to get into the game.  Go Bears!  Well, when it was my turn to be frisked, a massive man asked me what was in my jean jacket pocket.  I truthfully told him a couple of lipsticks (MAC Vivaglam if you must know, Pam Anderson edition, yes I need two, shut up).  He asked me to open my jacket pocket and show him.  He gasped.  Then he said really loudly: "Oh no that is NOT a Snickers bar in yo pocket - that is NOT a Snickers bar IN YO POCKET!"  He then burst out laughing and sent me on my way.

Oh the shame.  Before summer started I was drinking a green smoothie daily (thanks Maven) and preaching the ills of sugar to all who would listen (well, mostly to my kids, and they mostly don't listen).  And there I was, stashing candy absently in my coat pocket, for when I needed my next fix.  At the airport yesterday I sucked back my last chocolate bar and bag of Combos (you can't get them in Canada, leave me alone) and started a new day today.  A day that began with a serene mug of warm lemon water, a day where lunch was a bowl of cottage cheese with cantelope, a day where my mid afternoon snack was a handful of almonds and Greek yogurt.. 

So yes I was a fucking bitch by late afternoon, but I'm on way to getting back on track and turning that T back into a G.

1 comment:

Lynn said...

Fab, your summer sounds dreamy. I'm also back on the bitch-with-a-diet train after a summer of decadence. It's crazy how cranky I can get just from a few less calories and a lot less sugar. GAH.