THE SHOE SERIES, INSTALLMENT 1


And your Mother wears combat boots....

Well, I haven’t put them on for awhile, but these babies are probably the ones that could talk the most.

I purchased these little drill boots after I decided to commit whole heartedly to the punk scene. After a trip to the army surplus at the age of 12, nothing else graced my feet for the next 3 years. This was a time of much drama in my life, not fitting in here, not fitting in there, experimenting with this and that. It was also a time when doc marten boots were becoming popular, but if you wore them you also risked getting rolled for them. Terrified of this prospect, I remained satisfied with my steel toe boots, polishing them up diligently on a daily basis.

These boots got me out sticky situations (I kicked a guy in the berries who was trying to have his way with me). They clocked quite a few miles (I once walked to Manotick from Hog’s Back after a night of excess). They got me made fun of. They made me feel tough. I felt complete with my boots, like they were part of me, part of my uniform. Even when I gave in to my mom BEGGING me to wear something nice for a special event, those boots would top the outfit.

They collect dust now, but when I look at them I am overwhelmed with the memories they bring back. All at once I am nostalgic for the good times, sad for the lonely girl who wore them and mad at certain memories.

I’ll never throw these puppies out, and will likely insist that my girls wear them on their first dates.

My Michael Jackson memory.

Like most 11 year old girls, I was crazy about Michael. Innocent and young enough that it wasn’t a lust thing (unlike my ongoing issues with Mike Ness) but rather an obsession that made me smile, dance and yearn to hear his music all the time.

These were the days of Samantha Taylor on Video Hits. I would rush to get my homework done so I could sit thisclose to the T.V. and she teased us with what videos should would be playing that day. Can you imagine in the days before MuchMusic that we were allocated only ½ an hour of music videos a day? At any rate, during the Thriller album days, chances are Sam would play a couple of his videos a week. Sometimes I would get my tape recorder and tape the song off the t.v. (seriously - you can imagine the sound quality of this with the sounds of my Mom making dinner in the background).

I also had Thriller on vinyl, and would play it over and over and over again, skipping past certain songs (Human Nature, The Lady in My Life) and warping the tracks of others (I just loved The Girl is Mine). I don’t remember anyone in the house complaining either about playing these songs so often – maybe I’m romanticizing here, but it seems like everyone liked Michael Jackson.

So, back to my memory. My folks would pack me up every second summer for a road trip to go camping in Gloucester, Massachusetts. Because of our age differences, my brother and sister stopped joining us on these trips and it was just me, my mom, my dad, and the CBC (or the equivalent torture of whatever state/city we happened to be crossing). My folks favour opera and classical music. Like finger nails down a chalk board for an 11 year old (and sometimes for a 36 year old).

Part of this trip included a trip to downtown Boston. This would be an awesome trip because I would see soooo many walks life (Black people! Punk rockers! Hare Krishnas, oh my!) It would also be a fairly stressful trip because my dad behind the wheel of a big ass, two toned green van in a very busy downtown core which he was grossly unfamiliar set his anxiety levels at an all time high. I’m sure the steering wheel (also green) had his finger nail marks on it.

Anyhoooo, I had been whining and complaining on my sticky green vinyl seat about the radio station they had on. To shut me up, my mom found a pop station, and lo and behold, Billie Jean came on the radio.

I screamed. I screamed as if Michael walked right up to the two toned van (with matching curtains I might add) and asked for directions. I screamed like an 11 year old who had not heard her mostfavouritesongintheworld for over a week and a half. I screamed like only an 11 year old girl can scream.

My dad slammed on the brakes in the middle of downtown Boston rush hour. Concerned that he had hit someone or I had seen someone murdered on the street, he asked what the bloody hell was wrong. D-uh! Michael Jackson’s on the radio Daaaad! *Crickets* You know that quiet angry that parents get? When they aren’t quite sure how to pick the words they want to say and it’s really scary? My dad didn’t do it often, but I’m sure the whole of Boston felt the chill that fell upon the big ass two toned green van with matching curtains and vinyl seats.

The radio dial was promptly turned to, and remained on a classical station for the duration of the trip, and I had a walkman for our next road trip.

Rest in peace, Michael, thanks for the memories.

I bought the most beeeeuuutiful shoes on Monday. I am writing about them because I just took them off to put on my sneaks for my lunch time constitutional and I think I actually cried a little when I took them off. I must take a picture and post for you all to see. I would be torn if I was to ever made to choose between a child o mine and these shoes. They are just that Awesome.

I am finding it difficult to find things to blog about these days – p’raps I should do a shoe blog. An entry for each pair of shoes I own, going back to my combat boots from the mid-1980’s. What do you think? Most of them have a story (or two) to tell.

Random:

• Saw Away We Go last night – highly recommend it. What I do not recommend is sitting in front of 6 middle aged women who feel the need to comment endlessly on what is going on in the movie and state the obvious.

• While on the topic of annoying, I done figgered out a new pet peeve of mine (like I need anymore). I HATE it when people use decade+ old catch phrases and think they are funny. Example: Middle aged woman last night. Her reaction to a preview that she obviously didn’t like: “Buh-Bye – snort” (yes, she actually snorted). C’mon lady, buh-bye? Really you think that shit’s funny? It was funny when Dana Carvey did it, in the 1980’s.

• Not sure if mentioned that I was on a roll with only getting intimate with alcohol on the weekends. I made this move after the ever expanding waistline expanded a little too much last month. So, I quit booze, snacks after dinner and mindless eating. And, it has been making a difference. However, last night it was so hot, and the Heineken’s were quite agitated in the fridge (“we’re so c-c-c-c-c-cold Meanie, save us!” ) so Jo and I relieved them.

• My bestie is flying in tonight with her husband for a visit! Yippee! We sometimes go a whole year without seeing each other and now we are seeing each other twice within two months! I love this girl so much.

• We are heading to the cottage this weekend for Absolut. What is Absolut you ask? It is a weekend away with 5 other couples (same couples every year for the past 10 years) where we drink stoopid amounts of Absolut vodka, eat and be merry. We have been doing this since before any of us had kids. The evolution of the weekend has been amazing. I don’t have to do any ab exercises because I just laugh and laugh all weekend long.

That’s enough random.


*for MamaTulip – thank you!

• How do single parents cope when hit with an illness that just knocks you on your rump? Last Tuesday I left the office, pretty much on my hands and knees, feeling death crawling all over my body. For the next three days it took all my energy to get from my bed to the couch and back again. Usually on a sick day I can pull myself together for the ½ hour it takes to drive the girls to school. Not last week. No way. Probably a good thing as I would have scared small children with death-like pallor. Boo virus!

• The good thing that came from being sick was Mad Men on Rogers on Demand. Oh how I love this show. I may have to stay up past my bedtime to watch the remaining episodes. While I don’t necessary want to be a 1950’s housewife, I sure as hell would like to dress like one (with the exception of the pointy boobs – how was that ever in style?) So fun. Such a great series. Yay virus!

• My near death experience last week got me back into my favourite skirts that I couldn’t otherwise fit into – yay virus!

• Almost looking into the light last week has me behind on everything from laundry to cooking to bathing the children to bringing myself to picking up the macaroni noodle under the table that I have been eyeing for the past 5 days. Boo virus!

• One of my dearest friends came for whirlwind visit this weekend arriving Friday leaving Sunday. I know how difficult this was for her as she has three under 6 at home, but wow, was it ever great to see her, and we picked right up where we last left off 3 years ago. Those are the friends you want to hang on to. At least my sickness timed itself well and got of my system before she arrived. Yay virus!

• Being on the couch allowed me to watch the veritable festival of activity that takes place in our back yard. I now realize that yes, birds actually do use the bird feeders, as do the squirrels and chipmunks. And, we have birds living in the dollar store birdhouses that the girls decorated last year! These little houses look like Ugly Betty threw up all over them, but apparently birds like the festive look. Yay virus!

Those of you reading my blog for awhile may recall a darker post about rape . My best friend was drugged and raped after a night out with girl friends. I'm happy to report that not too long ago, my bestie and I shared drinks, laughs and danced to bad (great!) 80's music, just like the old days. While the ghost of rape still haunts, it was a little less present than our last visit together. There is still much for my friend to deal with, and all is not perfect, however, she has sent out this latest update on her case (posted with her blessing):


Hi all,
I have some news - as some of you may recall, the pretrial in the sexual assault case of Fernando Manuel Alves occurred last August. He was committed to trial on only 2 of the 5 counts (2 victims could not testify, and there was no "proof" that it was him who drugged me). The trial was scheduled for June 8-26, 2009.
I have just heard from the Crown Counsel, who told me that he has pleaded guilty. He accepted a plea bargain, in which he pleads guilty to my assault, but the other remaining assault charge has been dropped. The Crown is asking for 12-18 months in jail. We won't know what he gets until sentencing, which I am told will happen some time in June or July. He will be registered with the Sexual Offenders Database, and is required to provide a DNA sample for forensic records.
So there will be no trial, I will not have to testify again, (though in some sick way I was looking forward to obliterating the defense laywer again :) While this episode is by no means over for me or my family, there is finally some closure, and we are all happy about that.
Some more good news on that front, the investigation into Sergeant Asshat, head of the Sexual Offenses Squad of the XXXXXX Police Department has, after significant delays, concluded that Sergeant Asshat was indeed guilty of a disciplinary default in his treatment of me, and he has been removed permanently from that department. We are very pleased about this, as future victims will not have to deal with the "re-traumatizing" I faced in dealing with this individual.
Thanks to everyone for your support, and I ask that you feel free to share my story to educate others, as the epidemic of drug-assisted sexual assault is growing rapidly, and EVERYONE is a potential victim.

Here's to better days ahead,

Friend

Part of this pleases me, for her, for now she won't have to go through the agonizing ordeal of having to testify and justifying her status as victim. Part of it really pisses me off that an act that has negatively impacted her life, for the rest of her life, is worth, AT MOST, 12-18 months in jail. And that there other victims out there, who will not get this kind of "closure" because of the way our legal system works ("So....if I say I'm guilty of this can I not be punished for that?").

And because of my friends strength and conviction in what is right and what is wrong, Sgt. Asshat will no longer work with victims of sexual offences. She fought for this, she did not let it go, no matter how emotionally exhausting it was to fight that fight and keep the case open.

As the days of summer approach and we hit patios and parties, please always be aware of your drink, who you are with, and who your friends are with. These things happen too easily and fighting for justice is damn hard.

Rape doesn't discriminate. All women, of all ages, need to be aware.

International Rape Crisis Hotlines

Has anyone read “Late Nights on Air” by Elizabeth Hay?

Freaking painful by my standards. I’m about 1/8th in, not sure if I should continue or not. Has anyone read this? Does it get better? Not one character is speaking to me….in fact, I’d like to bitch slap all of them right now. The only reason I trudge angrily on is because my Mom swears by it.

Anyhooo, can’t remember who recommended the following, but they were fan-tastic.

The Outcast
Petty Details of So and So’s Life
Elle (is that what it called? French woman abandoned on shores of pre-devleopped Canada? Hides in the guts of a bear?)

More Can-lit recommendations please….I’m in reading mode and want to take advantage of it!!!!!